I officially decided to step away from pursuing dance at a professional level last April. It was an incredibly difficult decision, and I hope that reading my story helps give you a sense of comfort if you have ever decided to leave something you are passionate about.
Baby Emma flying through the air in some unknown position
A Brief Backstory (Short Version!)
I started training at an elite, pre-professional level of dance when I was nine years old. I spent the next ten years of my life training six days a week for hours on end, rarely taking more than a week off. Dance wasn’t just part of my life, it was nearly my whole life. When I left for college in 2020 to be a Dance and Marketing major at the University of Saint Francis- Fort Wayne, I was bound and determined to make a career out of dance.
One of my senior photos, taken the summer before I left for college
Excitement…. In the Beginning
When I arrived on campus, my hopes were high. Dance studios were closed all summer due to the pandemic, so I was excited to start taking dance classes in a real studio again.
By the end of the first semester, though, that excitement had turned to frustration and confusion. After 10 years of elite dance training, I was experiencing intense burn-out. My body was consistently in more pain than it had ever been in the past, and I sustained an injury that took me out of classes for two weeks. In addition to physical pain, I found myself feeling unmotivated in dance class most of the time, which was unusual for me.
A very low-res photo of Baby Emma doing an intense stretch
Getting to the Bottom of It
How had something I loved and dedicated my life to become something that I didn’t want to do anymore? To answer this question, I decided to evaluate what it was I really loved about dance. The conclusion I came to was that my favorite part of dance had always been the learning, the practicing, and the discipline. Performing wasn’t actually the part I loved most, which is why it seemed so daunting that I was pursuing professional performance.
I also realized that I had been so focused on dance for so long that I had rarely allowed myself to pursue my other interests (and I have many!). Coming to college made me realize that I wanted to do some exploring and see what else I could do with my skills.
A Whole New World!
Since I stopped dancing last April, I have done a lot of exploring, which has been a really exciting time in my life! I’ve tried things I never imagined I would do, including writing for an online magazine and working for an insurance company. I even went ice skating for the first time in my life this winter ( I never would have risked it while I was dancing!) and went to a football game at my college for the first time. Even though I occasionally get sad that I’m not dancing as much anymore, I am confident I made the best decision for my physical and mental health.
Oddly enough, stepping away from dance has not diminished my love for the art, but increased it. The pressure to attain a certain level of perfection has been removed, so now I can focus on the pure joy that movement brings me.
I left dance, but I am still a dancer.
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